#blogmas - how to live alone

Hello sunshines!

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight..."

Today I want to publish my first chatty article, to show you a bit more of me - the person behint the written words. I want to share my experiences of living abroad.
This time it is not about all the amazing trips I did, the places I saw and the people I met... It is about how it feels to be so far away from home

bullet journal quotes blogmas glitterisblack
home quote and photos of my friends

Before you can understand how everything feels like for me, you have to know who I am.
I have lived at home with my family since I had to move to the city where I am studying. But that doesn't mean that I have lived alone. Actually I had my own 15m² flat, but honestly I have spend there three or four nights if at all. I spend nearly all the time at my boyfriends shared flat. We didn't had more space than in my flat, but it felt better. In march 2017 we moved together in a new flat and now we have been living together with our little dog since then.
So I never had to live alone are have been alone for longer than 4 weeks.

I feel like I have to excuse for this, but I won't! I feel lucky to have such a lovely family and an amazing boyfriend. I appreciate that my social environment is that stabil and reliable.
Since I ventured the step to go to Scotland I knew from the very beginning that I left my comfort zone. My home is my holy place, not connected to my bed or my kitchen or my washing machine, but to my parents, my boyfriend and our dog!
I never tried to build myself a home here, because it could never be the same... but I tried to make me feel homey and familiar. And I think I was successful.

bullet journal cooking ideas spread blogmas glitterisblack
cooking ideas page in my bullet journal

But honestly:
I miss my own kitchen and my washing mashine!
I live in a students accomodation with 5 other erasmus students from France, Holland, Italy and Germany. I really like them and if you have seen my videos on youtube, you may know that I had trouble in the beginning (short version: they gave me the wrong room and I had to move) and now I'm really happy that I met all of them.
But for me it is strange to have a shared kitchen. I mean ... I am one of those late-night-nutella-spooning girls, but I don't want to go in the kitchen in my pyjama. So either I keep the Nutella in my room or I dress up to go to the kitchen. First is to risky to eat to much and second is to effortful.
In the beginning I had the same problem with makeup, but now they have to bear my natural beauty :D

It is not just the late-night-actions, but also the fact that usually everyone gets hungry around the same time and than it's one kitchen for 6 people who try to prepare food... and we have only one sharp knife. Luckily I'm one of the early eaters and I'm already eating when the others start to prepare.
Moreover, I'm the worst cook and I don't want to be judged because of this. I tried new recipes before and I will do when I'm back home, but I don't want to ruin a kitchen when 5 other people are waiting for me to make space. So I stick to what I know and try to avoid cooking when I know that other people need the stove later.

bullet journal quotes blogmas glitterisblack
home quotes for bullet journal

And then there is loneliness.
Not that I have no friends or no one who wants to talk to me... but when you are used to life with your family or your partner a room for yourself and just for yourself can be very quiet.
Of course I call my mama or my boyfriend or anyone else who has time, but I don't want to annoy them and life goes on. They cannot stay awake till 11pm, just because I'm in a weird mood. I have to handle this all by myself.

And this is when you start thinking about everything.
Why am I doing this? What am I doing afterwards? What will I do when I'm done with my studies? What are my goals in the next 5 year? Where do I want to go next? Do I want to go somewhere or will I start to build myself a real home in a new town? If so, which town?
Trust me, I had so much time to think about everything and I still have no answert to those questions!

I'm happy to be nearly home and dry and I can't wait to have my loved persones back!
I don't regret my decisions and I learned so much. I grew metally and I found some plans I want to follow the next weeks to finally find answers to all my questions. But I really want to have excitement all around me, and if it's just my little dog. I'm so done with all the silence!

What about you? Have you ever or do you live alone?
What do you do if it gets boring and you have no one to talk to?
Let me know it in the comments below (:

Merry Christmas!❄
signature by the author of glitterisblack


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